Saturday, September 17, 2011

First family photo of 4

Today Landon was able to see Houston for the first time. He was so interested in him and wanting to hold his hand and give him kisses. Landon was so well behaved in the hospital and was proud to be a BIG brother. This will probably be the last time he is able to see Houston before he comes home. Since cold and flu season is from October thru April no one under the age of 12 can visit the NICU. We show Landon pictures of Houston everyday and he understands that he is not in my belly anymore and is in the hospital, but will be home very soon. 
Landon seeing his little brother for the first time.

Holding hands with baby brother

First family photo of 4

Emotionally today has been a good day. I have not cried today, just because I know Houston is in good care and healthy. His doctor came by this afternoon and checked his lungs and belly again. All was clear and all his little organs are working like they should. He is digesting my milk very well and was upped 20cc's of mommy milk today. He has gain a few ounces in the last few days. As of last night he was up to 2lbs. 5oz., only 2oz. away from being back up to birth weight. Every Sunday they measure his length so I will be excited to see how much he grew this week.
It's still a hard drive to downtown and takes a good 45 mins or more with traffic and then back again. When I am with Houston I feel guilty about not being with Landon and when I'm with Landon I feel guilty about not being with Houston. I have not found a good balance yet between dividing my time with both boys. I don't think any of this will get easier as time goes on in the next few weeks and months.
I'm still having a hard time realizing that I am not pregnant anymore when I should be. It's still very hard seeing women come out of the hospital with their babies while I have to leave mine behind. It's still hard to see women who are having baby showers, baby bump pics and weekly updates.
This month has been the best month of my life, but also the worst. The best because my 2nd son was born and the worst because I had to deliver him at 26 weeks and have our lives turned upside down.
I am still working through my emotions about this whole experience we have been put on so suddenly. I just keep thinking how I have a tiny little guy who is HEALTHY, who needs me to visit him everyday, who needs me to hold him everyday and who is coming home to a family that LOVES him more than anything.

Happy 2 weeks Houston!!

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